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Love
is a beautiful thing but it can be hard to find sometimes, however,
with these 10 tips, you can be assured that you are truly in love.
Here’s a quick check-in you can use to decide if what you’re
feeling is actually love … or something else. If you’re in love, you
DON’T:
1. Knowingly put yourself in a compromising situation.
It’s not uncommon for men and women who work together to find
themselves in social situations either after work or while traveling for
work. Putting yourself in a one-on-one late night situation with a
co-worker that may find you attractive through the cloudy lens of
alcohol is simply unwise. Good intentions are subject to serious
compromise under the influence of alcohol. If you’re truly in love, your
commitment to your relationship must take priority over questionable
and quite possibly tempting social interactions. So, don’t put yourself
in the position to start with.
2. Keep secrets from them.
Of course, we’re not talking about keeping birthday surprises and
other special occasion secrets. Surprises are GOOD … secrets are BAD.
Keeping important information from your partner is dangerous behavior
that can only lead to a breakdown of trust when discovered.
3. Share their secrets.
Your partner is in an intimate relationship with you because he
feels safe with you. When someone shares their deepest thoughts,
feelings and secrets with you, they trust you to keep them to yourself.
If you’re even tempted to divulge their personal, private information,
then ask yourself what’s really going on.If you truly love them, this
will NEVER happen. This goes for after the breakup as well — persons
with integrity don’t share personal secrets.
4. Blatantly disrespect them.
Yes, everyone gets cranky from time to time and we all slip up and
take it out on the people we love most. However, treating your partner
with disrespect is ALWAYS unacceptable. Shouting, cursing and putting
them down is a sure sign of emotional immaturity and an indicator that
you don’t love and respect them the way you should. Love and respect are
inseparable in an intimate relationship.
5. Neglect or ignore them.
Neglecting your partner is a BIG clue that love is either
non-existent, or rapidly fading. The opposite of love is not hate — its
indifference. If you no longer care what your mate thinks, feels or
needs — your love relationship is in trouble. It’s time to re-evaluate
your true feelings. Maybe your relationship is in a temporary slump
that can be revived or jump-started with careful attention. Perhaps not.
Sustainable love requires care and nurturing.
6. Deny their requests for attention or affection.
When your spouse can’t spare a few seconds for a hug – this is a
big time problem. If a person can walk away from a request for attention
or affection that takes less than a minute or two it’s time to question
your commitment to them. What’s the real issue here?
7. Disrespect their family.
Is there a family member that drives you crazy? Loving our
partner’s family isn’t always easy and sometimes it challenges us in
unexpected ways. I know this one from personal, painful experience. You
signed up to love him, not his less than charming family, right? Yes,
loving them can be a stretch, but disrespecting them is NOT acceptable.
He loves them so it’s time to put on your big girl panties, smile, and
treat them with respect. Remember, doing otherwise hurts him too.
8. Refuse to talk about important issues.
Shutting down instead of talking about issues is a good recipe for
relationship failure. If you truly love him, you’ll find the courage to
talk your issues through.If you love him, you’ll be willing to talk
through what’s important, even when it’s potentially difficult. Take a
deep breath and just do it!
9. You let them do all the work.
If one person is doing all the work to support a couple’s daily
life together — this isn’ta partnership. Modern marriage is about true
partnership — a mutual sharing of life’s responsibilities … not just the
fun times.
10. Set up win/lose situations between you.
Winning and losing are terms best kept to games and sporting
activities. Couples are a partnership — a team event in which your team
is always the winner. Keeping score sets up unnecessary competition
between partners that most often leads to resentment.
He’s on your team and you’re on his, so be sure to cheer each other on. Be each other’s biggest fans.
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